A blog fan

Nearly a year back from today, I was browsing in this same system in which I am typing this blog now. It is this Comp, whenever I gave my laptop some rest, I used for most of my academic purposes in law school, especially after my laptop got crashed in the lastest trimester. I had to use this comp to finish doing most of my seminar courses, let alone how actively I was involved in downloading loads of music and listening to them. "IL II 1340 - plz dont delete" a folder which belongs to me and containing most of the work I did in my 4th and 5 year still receives me with warmth everytime I login this comp . Now I am a graduate but have visited the campus for some inexplicable reason and to use this comp and see the folder undeleted, gives me tremendous nostalgic feeling.
Whenever I take a break from typing project or doing any research work, I only had the habit of streaming music videos or visit googleshark, until one special day I, accidentally, bumped into the webpage 'www.latentspace.blogspot.com'. It was a moment similar to when I first time ever, listened to Chris cornell, Dire straits, Bryan Adams or watch Batistuta play, or watching a movie like, Big fish or scent of a woman or any other best first time entertainment experience i ever had. It showed me the beautiful side of a written piece of anything whatsoever it was. I wanted to read more and more of 'Latent Space'.
For the first time, I developed a genuine interest in 'reading' as such since Latent space had broke me away from the academic stereotype all that i believed in about reading. I was so tempted to comment on so many blogs of Latent space; now and then, but I chose to remain a secret admirer. I followed her. My College ended in a month, soon after I discovered Latent space, so I had to go home and I followed her from my hometown. Many a times and again, I was so tempted to comment. So, whenever I did, I used to save those comments, hoping sometime in the future I would, but I dint for I loved and enjoyed myself being the secret admirer. Two months from then, I joined a office in Chennai, I could not get much time to follow her blog so but I could still steal a glance of her page when I got time. Since there had been so many changes and fuck ups and have discovered even some other blogs, one amongst which even acted as a life guide, interestingly.
Two days before I was with some of my frens reading Latentspace and i found She had changed her blogsite layout. I dint like it at all. At first, I even wondered if I was at her page, then her old blogs confirmed me that it was her blogsite. The previous layout depicting a droplet made me feel home and it always reminded me of my final trimester in my final year in law school, then my temporary stay in my hometown where I was reading this blog again and again like I used to listen, repeatedly to some of my fav rock songs like "Handhole" by 'Lounge Piranha', "I am the Highway" by Audioslave or 'shadow of the day' by 'Linkin park' (To me, these are evergreen songs which never go dry and everytime I listen to, I always feel like I am listenting to them for the first time, and same with the Latentspace, I can take any old blog and read it again. again and again, they never go dry, Latent space you are evergreen).
And finally I chose to comment on her one untitled blog which was asusual written in a brilliant style and I also asked her if she could change her layout to the previous one. And today I came to library to do some reasearch and intentionally used the same comp for old time sake (This is the one in the corner-most n facing window through which one can see the entrance of Law school lib and the pathway). So I log into this comp and I see Latent space had replied to my comment. After all I could have commented even a year back on any other blogs of Latent space and Latent space could have still posted a response to it but if I had did comment on Latent space the very same day i had come across, I would not have probably enjoyed it since i wanted to be a secret admirer. Also then, I had no blogsite of my own. I felt like I needed one before I post a comment on Latent space:) Because I needed an Identity. I knew I could not built an Identity as great as Latent space but I know I can start building one. Infact I got inspired by Latentspace and bloggers alike after all, So it would be too much to ask for to be like Latent space itself to post a comment on Latent space in such a short time. Did gave a shot. And so here I am with this blog as its effect. Now that I have one of my own, I proudly and recently commented expressing my dislike over her new layout( since she necessitated by changing the blog layout) in one of her blogs.
And to see that Latentspace has commented in response to what I have commented and that too in the same Comp where I had discovered her, I just thought for a moment how life is one big loop and we all go over and over again in it, still moving forward. I am here again for almost a year after having graduated and left and then return to where I started to see that Latent space knows me now and that brings me smile on my face :)

Ode to Darkness

My last counter burning, guitar by my side

Kristofferson says, "Buddy, get a thicker hide"

The radio's in full blast, outside there's a lot of noise

I have my guitar, I don't have Kristofferson's poise;

My Cigarette is running out and burns my dreams too.

But with Kristofferson on, I think I will make do.

I have lost track of life, with all its fores and hinds

And lonesome was more than a state of mind.

I lose my thoughts, I've got to have my say

I'd trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday.

......by Arani sanyal (spelt out over a mug of beer:-P )

The power of Forgiveness

There is a saying, "A good advice is beyond price". Back during my childhood era in my school "Holy Cross", I remember a 'Father', while was lecturing on some topic, advised the students that "all of us should learn to forgive people when the someone commit mistakes, if not our hearts would turn into as hard as a rock". He added saying an unforgiving heart would only become harder and harder affecting our mental and physical health but if we inculcate the habit of forgiving others, then our heart will become softer and would relieve us off all mental worries and makes us healthy.
Thanks Fr. whoever you were! After so many years, at least today, I actually forgave a person in a way it helped me not to lose my sanity. The reward for me having had been nice, honest, gentle and trusting somebody was that to end up being fooled by that very same somebody. I felt sooo dumb like I never felt this way before. All happened as I watched though I took no step to prevent any situation I thought I was most likely gonna end up in. I trusted foolishly. I trusted this world. But i was fooled. But I learned it probably for the nth time, while that may be ridiculous, I still have learnt.

But How could I erase the whole incident off my memory? I am not a machine to press Control and Delete! I could not. My blood was up. Punched the air uncontrollably as I was walking in traffic while people were watchin my strange behavior. I was murmuring to myself and would suddenly yell with harsh words since i was frustrated about my proneness to be deceived by such cunning people. I went to a place where none can see me and tried as best as I could and screamed out loud and even tried to cry ( the goddamn thing never happened and It never happens.<Flashback starts> I had become numb ever since I came to realize that it was the construction of the real I was in love with and the real was nothing but a completle void, meaning nothing near to what my construction was. My tears dried out. It was nearly 5 years from now<Flashback ends>). I was going insane a little by little
At last, those golden words started ringing in my hears like the chirping of the birds. I wasted no seconds to seize the opportunity. I forgave the person who cheated me. Yes, I forgave the person from the bottom of my heart and as soon as I did it, I felt elevated so high above that small, little, person who can do no harm but cheat other people and suck on their blood and live like Mosquitoes. what matters now is -My mind is definitely free now. And I have realized the power of forgiveness after all!

Money can't buy you Intelligence

Recently, I was listening to a radio programme in FM radio station Indigo in which the listeners were asked to answer their choice of preference between indefinite knowledge and money. I would most probably have chosen indefinite knowledge over money for two reasons. First of all, it is not certain if money would ever continue to remain as the medium for trade unless say money is defined beyond a mere specially designed piece of paper by the Government and it would mean inclusive of all that facilitates exchange of kind and good. If tomorrow the Government decided to ban all paper currency and coins, then money in such form would cease to have any value in the eye of law and consequently among common public. Secondly, as Darwin puts it, the earth evolves, obviously with the people living on it. That means; change becomes inherent to the evolution of mankind. Life expands, the need and expectations of people will increase incessantly and consequently there shall be more demand and thus it would create a necessity for equal supply which can’t be met with mere money without intelligence. On the other hand, the intelligence can cater to the need of the demanding public.

As I was listening, the listeners were sending in their answers both by SMS and phone calls. Unsurprisingly majority of them choose money over intelligence. They would rather feel comfortable sipping Scottish whisky and tasting Mexican dish at a Brazilian  restaurant by the seashore followed by a nice massage than to be sitting at the lab with their mind twisted as to what shall be their next invention or without even being inside a lab, think to decide how they should shape up their lives. But what I found unacceptable was what was stated by those who chose money, i.e. " with money, they believe they can buy intelligence "

This I strongly object. Such a statement invited me to poke my nose into the rationale of those people. Intelligence is not something similar to a pizza or burger to buy with money. A lady attempted to amplify such statement by saying with money one can get an admission in a good educational institution. I agree but I disagree with her notion that a good educational institution would bestow intelligence upon an individual. Intelligence is not like the degree to confer it on someone. If it is so how did the ancient scientist who contributed to the almost everything we enjoy in our material life had such intelligence. Were all of them studied in a good educational institution? Were there not a single scientist who was illiterate and never even knocked the door of a school? Or if strongly put, was there school and colleges at all that imposed heavy financial burden before imparting knowledge to its pupils.

While money may help a person to exist till his or her death, the intelligence, on the other hand, will guide one live. So I would not choose the money which is created out of intelligence of human over the intelligence which a man is born with unless he is mentally challenged and his brain does not develop beyond a certain stage to make him think normally.

Just like Beatles said “Money can’t buy love”, similarly Money can’t buy intelligence either.