A blog fan

Nearly a year back from today, I was browsing in this same system in which I am typing this blog now. It is this Comp, whenever I gave my laptop some rest, I used for most of my academic purposes in law school, especially after my laptop got crashed in the lastest trimester. I had to use this comp to finish doing most of my seminar courses, let alone how actively I was involved in downloading loads of music and listening to them. "IL II 1340 - plz dont delete" a folder which belongs to me and containing most of the work I did in my 4th and 5 year still receives me with warmth everytime I login this comp . Now I am a graduate but have visited the campus for some inexplicable reason and to use this comp and see the folder undeleted, gives me tremendous nostalgic feeling.
Whenever I take a break from typing project or doing any research work, I only had the habit of streaming music videos or visit googleshark, until one special day I, accidentally, bumped into the webpage 'www.latentspace.blogspot.com'. It was a moment similar to when I first time ever, listened to Chris cornell, Dire straits, Bryan Adams or watch Batistuta play, or watching a movie like, Big fish or scent of a woman or any other best first time entertainment experience i ever had. It showed me the beautiful side of a written piece of anything whatsoever it was. I wanted to read more and more of 'Latent Space'.
For the first time, I developed a genuine interest in 'reading' as such since Latent space had broke me away from the academic stereotype all that i believed in about reading. I was so tempted to comment on so many blogs of Latent space; now and then, but I chose to remain a secret admirer. I followed her. My College ended in a month, soon after I discovered Latent space, so I had to go home and I followed her from my hometown. Many a times and again, I was so tempted to comment. So, whenever I did, I used to save those comments, hoping sometime in the future I would, but I dint for I loved and enjoyed myself being the secret admirer. Two months from then, I joined a office in Chennai, I could not get much time to follow her blog so but I could still steal a glance of her page when I got time. Since there had been so many changes and fuck ups and have discovered even some other blogs, one amongst which even acted as a life guide, interestingly.
Two days before I was with some of my frens reading Latentspace and i found She had changed her blogsite layout. I dint like it at all. At first, I even wondered if I was at her page, then her old blogs confirmed me that it was her blogsite. The previous layout depicting a droplet made me feel home and it always reminded me of my final trimester in my final year in law school, then my temporary stay in my hometown where I was reading this blog again and again like I used to listen, repeatedly to some of my fav rock songs like "Handhole" by 'Lounge Piranha', "I am the Highway" by Audioslave or 'shadow of the day' by 'Linkin park' (To me, these are evergreen songs which never go dry and everytime I listen to, I always feel like I am listenting to them for the first time, and same with the Latentspace, I can take any old blog and read it again. again and again, they never go dry, Latent space you are evergreen).
And finally I chose to comment on her one untitled blog which was asusual written in a brilliant style and I also asked her if she could change her layout to the previous one. And today I came to library to do some reasearch and intentionally used the same comp for old time sake (This is the one in the corner-most n facing window through which one can see the entrance of Law school lib and the pathway). So I log into this comp and I see Latent space had replied to my comment. After all I could have commented even a year back on any other blogs of Latent space and Latent space could have still posted a response to it but if I had did comment on Latent space the very same day i had come across, I would not have probably enjoyed it since i wanted to be a secret admirer. Also then, I had no blogsite of my own. I felt like I needed one before I post a comment on Latent space:) Because I needed an Identity. I knew I could not built an Identity as great as Latent space but I know I can start building one. Infact I got inspired by Latentspace and bloggers alike after all, So it would be too much to ask for to be like Latent space itself to post a comment on Latent space in such a short time. Did gave a shot. And so here I am with this blog as its effect. Now that I have one of my own, I proudly and recently commented expressing my dislike over her new layout( since she necessitated by changing the blog layout) in one of her blogs.
And to see that Latentspace has commented in response to what I have commented and that too in the same Comp where I had discovered her, I just thought for a moment how life is one big loop and we all go over and over again in it, still moving forward. I am here again for almost a year after having graduated and left and then return to where I started to see that Latent space knows me now and that brings me smile on my face :)

Ode to Darkness

My last counter burning, guitar by my side

Kristofferson says, "Buddy, get a thicker hide"

The radio's in full blast, outside there's a lot of noise

I have my guitar, I don't have Kristofferson's poise;

My Cigarette is running out and burns my dreams too.

But with Kristofferson on, I think I will make do.

I have lost track of life, with all its fores and hinds

And lonesome was more than a state of mind.

I lose my thoughts, I've got to have my say

I'd trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday.

......by Arani sanyal (spelt out over a mug of beer:-P )

The power of Forgiveness

There is a saying, "A good advice is beyond price". Back during my childhood era in my school "Holy Cross", I remember a 'Father', while was lecturing on some topic, advised the students that "all of us should learn to forgive people when the someone commit mistakes, if not our hearts would turn into as hard as a rock". He added saying an unforgiving heart would only become harder and harder affecting our mental and physical health but if we inculcate the habit of forgiving others, then our heart will become softer and would relieve us off all mental worries and makes us healthy.
Thanks Fr. whoever you were! After so many years, at least today, I actually forgave a person in a way it helped me not to lose my sanity. The reward for me having had been nice, honest, gentle and trusting somebody was that to end up being fooled by that very same somebody. I felt sooo dumb like I never felt this way before. All happened as I watched though I took no step to prevent any situation I thought I was most likely gonna end up in. I trusted foolishly. I trusted this world. But i was fooled. But I learned it probably for the nth time, while that may be ridiculous, I still have learnt.

But How could I erase the whole incident off my memory? I am not a machine to press Control and Delete! I could not. My blood was up. Punched the air uncontrollably as I was walking in traffic while people were watchin my strange behavior. I was murmuring to myself and would suddenly yell with harsh words since i was frustrated about my proneness to be deceived by such cunning people. I went to a place where none can see me and tried as best as I could and screamed out loud and even tried to cry ( the goddamn thing never happened and It never happens.<Flashback starts> I had become numb ever since I came to realize that it was the construction of the real I was in love with and the real was nothing but a completle void, meaning nothing near to what my construction was. My tears dried out. It was nearly 5 years from now<Flashback ends>). I was going insane a little by little
At last, those golden words started ringing in my hears like the chirping of the birds. I wasted no seconds to seize the opportunity. I forgave the person who cheated me. Yes, I forgave the person from the bottom of my heart and as soon as I did it, I felt elevated so high above that small, little, person who can do no harm but cheat other people and suck on their blood and live like Mosquitoes. what matters now is -My mind is definitely free now. And I have realized the power of forgiveness after all!

Money can't buy you Intelligence

Recently, I was listening to a radio programme in FM radio station Indigo in which the listeners were asked to answer their choice of preference between indefinite knowledge and money. I would most probably have chosen indefinite knowledge over money for two reasons. First of all, it is not certain if money would ever continue to remain as the medium for trade unless say money is defined beyond a mere specially designed piece of paper by the Government and it would mean inclusive of all that facilitates exchange of kind and good. If tomorrow the Government decided to ban all paper currency and coins, then money in such form would cease to have any value in the eye of law and consequently among common public. Secondly, as Darwin puts it, the earth evolves, obviously with the people living on it. That means; change becomes inherent to the evolution of mankind. Life expands, the need and expectations of people will increase incessantly and consequently there shall be more demand and thus it would create a necessity for equal supply which can’t be met with mere money without intelligence. On the other hand, the intelligence can cater to the need of the demanding public.

As I was listening, the listeners were sending in their answers both by SMS and phone calls. Unsurprisingly majority of them choose money over intelligence. They would rather feel comfortable sipping Scottish whisky and tasting Mexican dish at a Brazilian  restaurant by the seashore followed by a nice massage than to be sitting at the lab with their mind twisted as to what shall be their next invention or without even being inside a lab, think to decide how they should shape up their lives. But what I found unacceptable was what was stated by those who chose money, i.e. " with money, they believe they can buy intelligence "

This I strongly object. Such a statement invited me to poke my nose into the rationale of those people. Intelligence is not something similar to a pizza or burger to buy with money. A lady attempted to amplify such statement by saying with money one can get an admission in a good educational institution. I agree but I disagree with her notion that a good educational institution would bestow intelligence upon an individual. Intelligence is not like the degree to confer it on someone. If it is so how did the ancient scientist who contributed to the almost everything we enjoy in our material life had such intelligence. Were all of them studied in a good educational institution? Were there not a single scientist who was illiterate and never even knocked the door of a school? Or if strongly put, was there school and colleges at all that imposed heavy financial burden before imparting knowledge to its pupils.

While money may help a person to exist till his or her death, the intelligence, on the other hand, will guide one live. So I would not choose the money which is created out of intelligence of human over the intelligence which a man is born with unless he is mentally challenged and his brain does not develop beyond a certain stage to make him think normally.

Just like Beatles said “Money can’t buy love”, similarly Money can’t buy intelligence either.

Be yOuRsELf

Today I went to Vijayanagar for the same old reason. I had wandered this same street nearly 6 years back, and I have had almost lost my mind until I received that call from her and she talked to me and she told me that she only called me up because she knew if she hadn't, I would otherwise do things which could best described as "weird" which is exactly I continued exactly how contiued to behave thereafter, for a very long time ever since I missed her. Remebering those old days, as i was roaming, i walked past the hotel, Park avenue, where once Dev and I had dinner on terrace. Just like any other moment, it was not a very enjoyable past-time but as usual, loaded with altercation short of physical fight. This time, we accused each other of having had no ambition and wasting our time in law school and finally we ended our dinner with a promise that we both will achieve something uniuque and better in life after we graduate (Infact he became a differernt person from the beginning of the our final year and I see, he is so determined to achieve what he wanted). I guess we were in 3rd year in col then and we both discussed not to sit for placement and of course never had interest in getting a Job even. we foresaw we were not the kind of people who would fit in the typical employer-employee relationship for he is some one who wants himself to boss others around and a power-hungry person and I am naturally pro-public and corporate-averse guy and and always dreamt about to be a genuine public-representative.

I went to the same hotel and had dinner at terrace. Nothing much has changed since 3 years . It was a crowded day may be since it was a weekend . After dinner, I went to a Paan-shop opposite to the hotel, and since I had some beer and was moderately drunk, I thought of trying a smoke, though am not a smoker and I hoped it would be cool thing to do . Actually when she smoked and as she would exhale, she would tell me, "ohhh Varman, what a feeeeellling". But I would snatch her ciggy immediately and throw it off. At hindsight I think I have had been really ridiculous. She had even asked me "what if I go to my room and smoke?" and to which I would just return her a dumb-ass/helpless look, hoping it would work and i know it would never have! Anyway all that memory came to my mind in a flick of a second, so I thought why not I try to get that same pleasure myself after all. I am not saying I never smoked but I never smoked a ciggarette like it should have been smoked!

I went ahead and bought a ciggy. This time I got the name of the ciggy correct. That made me feel proud about myself. I am not kidding. I had had made this mistake in the past when there was no ciggy with the brand name I asked for!! I needed a match stick. Instead I was provied with a lighter. I tried lighting the ciggy. But the ciggy was not burning, but what I saw was some white thing burning instead of tobacco. I could find no cause for such event. First I thought may be this cigaratte was not packed properly and I tried lighting it again. But it again had some problem getting burnt. By the time, I had to allow the lighter to be used by other customers whose ciggys were behaving like these disciplined children which made me feel a little uneasy and I felt a little low too.

I watched the other customers carefully and I again took my turn this time more sincerely and then started walking towards auto-stand, and I kept puffing the cigarette, trying to act cool, but also realising that I don't feel any tobacco smoke in my mouth. Later I found that the fag end of the ciggy was not burning at all. It pisse me off badly. I thought the cigarette was a bad one and I wanted, at first, to go compliant to the shop keeper about it but later I discovered how I lit the wrong side of the ciggy and that made me get angry over myself. Damn ciggys! both ends looked the same; all white and how could it have been my fault for I was not even a smoker?!! Having realized I should not have tried something which I knew I was not good at and that too just because I found others do it and I wanted to derive some hypocrite "coolness" out of it; I immediately threw the 'the-cause-of-the-problem' in the nearby garbage and told to myself to "Be Yourself" and took an nearby auto in which a cool Hindi song beginning with nice rhythmic acoustic guitar was playing, to reach back campus.

It feels so good

Its my 6th post. Every time I set about to write a post, it 'feels so good'. Although I have not published every post I have typed so far, I have saved safely everyone of them as drafts and I intend to publish them when the right time comes . I have to admit that what keep me inspiring to publish a post are some of the most beautiful blogs I have come across. Each one of them is so unique and so beautiful and special in its own way. I started following them since close to one year from now. I know its a very a short period and I feel like I was loser in the past for having missed out the pleasure I would have got which I have every time I read these blogs and in turn the inspiration I get to publish my own. I will mention below a few blogs which impressed me the most. I, as aforementioned, considered all of them equally briallant. I will take this oppurtunity to thank all the blogs by briefly describing about them in the bestest possible way! First let me begin with,

Latent space

'Latent space'- it's my first love. There is something elegant about this blog. She writes with such a style which makes it so interesting to read every bit of it no matter what she writes about. I have read each and every of her posts. I do not even remember how many times I have read them each and I might read it again when I think I would need to lift my mood up. I have read them when I took my breakfast, when I travelled, before going to bed, while listening to music, and even during work; ensure the boss doesnt watches me and use the comp surreptitiously to check if she has updated her blog; if not read again a few of her old ones and get back to work. Ultimate.

Wanderlust

I thought Latent space might be the best bloggger ever till I came across "Wanderlust" who just amazed me with her blogsite, however, in a different way. Her blog even attracted the widely popular rag in Bangalore City 'Bangalore Mirror' so much that they once plagiarized one of her articles from her blog, which pretty testifies the quality of her blog site. well I would love my blog to be plagiarized! If she were a student of law school, I bet she would have set an example to next generation lawyer for she exhibits all the knowedge and arguments in her writing using her skills and talent!! This blog is Just so HOT :)

Alors
Another blogger I discovered in my recent venture, yet, it has outbeaten many other blogs so easily because of its maturity, profoundness, and intelligence, hence it has found a place for itslef in my post today:). It sometimes turns poetic too! It's now called 'Alors' (formerly 'Percept'). Especially the recent post titled "Becoming" left me speechless! This is because it is exactly the stage of life i am at right now. And I felt like as if the post published was aimed at me! I wish I have read this post, say, 5 years back, I would have been not so confident in life and been a little wary about the limitations of life! But that's life..

A little moment Here

The next one is a cool blogger, who is also my follower. It is 'A little moment Here'. First thing you will get to hear when you enter his blogsite, is his hard-to-put-up and irritating own composition music-like noise(pun-intended) titled "nagarbavi-star". It is only a demo. So if you can bear it and want to hear the full version, you can download it, I think! During 5 years of life in law school, apart from trying to learn from this guy as to how to sing and how to hold and strum a guitar , till recently, I never realised that he had this hidden treasure which is his blog from which I could have learnt a lot from. If you should read his blog, I suggest an extra brain may be necessary to understand the message he tries to convey. Brainy

the Twelfth Man

The Twelfth Man. One word, just one would suffice to best describe this site, "stunning". I hope would not be falling into category which is best described in the the last or may be the lastest post (and I hate him for not publishing for any other post at all after that) . I almost fell off my chair laughing when i read his "Come of Mad Ads ra" post . Well I think you should be able to visualize this guy talking to you when you read this post for which you should have met this person which is not possible for all who read his blog to have that privilege, nevertheless, i swear it is, I repeat, stunning, reading, his blog.

Looking at the world from the Bottom of the Well

Its another one nice blog though. Its too bulky to read to everything the blogger posts though yet I have to admit this blog has changed the very notion of what I thought a blog should be like. This blogger turns even of her normal daily events into a sweet tale. So I stopped thinking that reading many books or watching movies is not a necessary prerequisite to write a blog. I realised even writing about a daily's event could make a good post in my blog. - Beautiful and Helpful!

Wanna Praxis Engine

Creative, humorous, lively, and kickass. This blog rocks, and I simple love it :)

I am sure there are thousand and more blogs out there which I have missed to discover how great they are but I hope to come to learn bout them as well, in near future and a big cheers to all bloggers. Happy blogging!

Addiction alias 'The Other Me'

Addiction (hereinafter referred to as "the other me") who I have been fighting against from time immemorial. Sometimes I feel like I want to kill him but I cant for it would be like defeating myself. Since I am fighting against the biology, I pose myself this question 'is fail could be the only answer ? Not really, may be that's why they have said , there's exception to every rule. So Why I can' t be an exception in this case?!! And I have, in fact, proved them all wrong, so why not I prove myself once; Just once, which I have been trying for several years and may continue proving! I know I am more worth than my existence but the other me is inhibiting my growth as much as the better half as helped me get as much recognition as I possess now. But I had enough of 'the other me' and have tried and tried so much from falling prey to its vicious bait that I almost lost faith in my own confidence prowess. I know that it is next to dangerous thing and the culprit lies within myself, which is 'the other me'. But what is the solution to cure it? should I continue to my fight? Or may be from this time on , let the fight be severe and bloody and if necessary, even worse!
Actually this is what I have had been doing ever since I have discovered 'the other me' and waged my war against him. would merely by making the war intense, the results be fruitful? The best example can be the real wars itself itself. What difference have they made except causing more miseries to our lives. Wars have only brought agony to human lives and created more number of enemies. So why not, for a change, I should try dealing with my 'the other me' in non-violent manner. May be I can try to understand what are his needs and try to satisfy him accordingly without raising up against him in arms. So that, hopefully, neither would he hinder, in anyway, my progress of growth nor would I have to worry, least, about missing the opportunities I failed to squeeze if not any medals that dint win and more importantly I bothered no more.
So let me make to 'the other me' this offer. "I honestly would like to leave the past behind and I don't want to fight with you and hurt neither you nor me anymore and I promise you this would be a gentleman's agreement. Lets make a truce, Are you ready?" I am..

To, a Ms. 'Love'

To,
a Ms.'Love'

You and I had had always love-hate relationship. I knew you needed me. I needed u more than you did. I, nevertheless, evaded you . I projected myself far away though its not from anything you have done. One day you hated me for that and continued to, ever since thereafter. My heart drowned in pain. Its all my fault. The problem was of my own. I was at war with my feelings which only I knew, perhaps you could have read the feelings through my behaviors; least I could have not let you misunderstand me.
But now in vain, I am longing to say to you that I love you when I know you are no more there to neither love nor hate me!

with luv

When Law and Physics collide

while I was waiting in Court hall 23, Chennai High Court, for my senior's case item number to reach, I happened to witness, incidentally, the most hilarious Court room drama, so far, where two lawyers were seriously engaging in their usual battle and in the process, trying to teach the Judge the State school board physics! The lawyers had good grip of the subject necessary and relevant to their case. The one who represented the teacher, while addressing the Court, mentioned "five" (which, in 'Physics', represents angle) but the Judge understood it as numerical five and it took some time and exchange of type sets, before they (judges and lawyers) both came to a mutual understanding. It was quite amusing to watch when Judge Sudhakar tried to understand the physics involved in it, until, he fortunately realized that he would need one year, atleast, to learn what the basics of physics are about and started focusing on only legal arguments.

The case of student who wanted his answer paper re-evaluated was that he applied for the reevaluation of his paper, and he was awarded the 1 mark he sought for since the teachers found that he had faulted only on technical reason but content-wise he had written the answer correctly. Accordingly the student’s marks were increased from 139 to 140. However, the student must have been equally unlucky because, the teachers, while revaluating his paper, had discovered in some other part of the answer sheet , a wrong answer for which an another one mark was deducted, so cumulatively, his marks reverted to 139 from 140.

The ridiculous contention, therefore, put forth on behalf of the student before the Court, was that the Judge should order the teachers to award the 1 mark (which was deducted for having discovered the other incorrect answer) back since the revaluation should have been confined to part of the answer sheet which the student felt he was aggrieved by alone.
The Judge apparently did not accept the contention and held the reevaluation should be considered in totality and it relieved his physics anxiety too.

A Field Trip to Central Prison

June 8th, 2010, during my final trimester at law school, I desired to have as much fun as I could, nevertheless, it was just an another lousy morning; packed my books, went to the library to work on an self-imposed assingmnet, though I knew I had an option to replace it with the field trip to Central Prison, Timkur, (near Bangalore – Tamil Nadu, border) which was arranged on the same day by our beloved professor Tagore (Retd., D.G.P), a former IPS officer, a fantastic person too. He was keen on taking our class on this trip with the sole intetnion of making us meet and interact with the prisoners so that he thought it might help us learn about them, their life and the circumstances which drove them to commit such crimes and make us analyse these in comparison to the adequacy and efficiency of the law which deals with them. Basically he wanted this trip to be a practical knowledge to supplement the theoritical studies we have had learnt related to the criminal system. The trip was connected to our seminar course

I was not initially going to attend the trip but one of my friends, Vikram Hedge, a good human being too, (who cleard his prelims in the recently held exam in his very first attempt and a very promising civil servant; who exhibits great enthusiasm and involvement in social service which he pretty much proved in his 5 year stint in law school by his selfless service through Legal Service Clinic, a committee which caters to the need of the illiterate and economically weak people who seek legal advice, free of cost) gave me a ring and asked me to join the class for the trip and when I was half-minded and couldn't decide if I should go, he reminded me about how it was the last trip we would go together in group as a class and said this trip might turn out to be a memorable one too and it did ofcourse. I immediately changed my mind, then rushed to the spot where the bus was overloaded with my classmates and a car in which my Professor and Vikram were waiting. I joined them in time and from there we started our journey embarking on our field trip.

It was a long journey from our university to the prison. Our Professor was received with a prestigious welcome outside the Central prison. We entered into the prison through a small gate, however, insise, there was a huge hall where we were made to form a queue and frisked and ordered not to carry any electronice instruments into the interior section of the cell and the Jail officials imprinted some mark on our right hand which was for identification pupose, before we were allowed freely to go further inside. As we entered in, I saw a board across the wall which not only looked funny but also morbid. The funny part was it resembled a hotel menu but it contained the particulars about the crimes like, the nature of it, and by whom those were committed, and the age of the person, and number of convicts and aquittals. The morbid part was that number of persons who were awarded death penatly too were put up. As we all progressed towards the interior section , they unlocked a huge gate and we saw a road in the middle of it leading to an open ground sorrunded by different cells with different type of prisoners in it whom all we met. However, for the sake of this blog, I cant write everything about so I will confine to relevant part of my visit. The Interesting prisoner I met in the prison and possibly everyone of us met was

Swami Shraddhananda

We met Swami Shraddhananda popularly called “Godman” Shraddhananda. He was kept in a reasonably comfortable single bed-ed and attached toilet room. He became very notorious in early 1990s for his brutal killing of his wife (who was an ex-wife of a former Indian ambassador to Australia and Iran and daughter of Mysore dewan) in a property dispute involving crores of money. He buried her alive in a coffin in the backyard of his house. Interestingly, my professor was one among the squad which investigated the crime. He even told us how when he found the coffin in the backyard during the investigation, he saw scratch marks of the finger nails of the victim on the bottom of the lid of the coffin and on the discovery of it they came to the conclusion that the victim was buried alive. So far I have only read about his case while preparing for my criminal law exam. This was the guy about whose case I read and discussed amongst fellow students and professor in the class . Until this day, I have seen only this guy’s photograph in newspapers and never expected I would meet him personally and it was was quite an experience. Mr shradhananda, when interacting with us, said, “if I had not killed my wife, she would have killed me”, so he apparently justified the murder on the ground of self-defense. In this case the Supreme Court had a split judgment . First it opined that this case falls under the rarest of the the rare cases in which case sure Sharadhdhananda deserved death penanlty. Justice Katju upheld the death sentence awarded to the convict by the Karnataka High Court. Finally Justice Sinha held that Shraddhananda deserved life imprisonment (As per statute, life imprisonment means 14 years of imprisonment)in this case the Court gave a new interpretation to the life imprisonment and held it means 'imprisonement until he dies'.

The former ‘Godman’ talked with good logic of his own in such eloquence that he sounded as if whatever he did perhaps could be justified. But I am not saying I bought his argument, yet I did wish to stay a little longer with him and listen to his talk and his views and ideas about life, especially when he said “you may only remove a brick but you can’t remove the pillar because if you do, then the whole building will collapse”. Apparerently the brick by which he referred to himself and the pillar he meant the rest ‘majority’ of the society. Well I could not agree with him more. I thought he was just the unfortunate one and there sure are many out there who aren’t as good unfortunate as the former Godman. As we were interacting with him, the Jail autorities wanted to cut short our conversation and take us to a different cell. So as we were leaving his cell, we heard him say to us, ‘Be Good huh?’. We all immediately burst into laugh!

During our conversation with Mr, Shraddhananda, he told us something which really disturbed me. He said that the ultimate aim of man on this earth was to live in peace and that he was enjoying his life in the prison since the Government has provided him everything a man wanted to live in peace. The environment where he lived stood testimony to what he said (I am not saying he be put in a solitary confinement or given barbaric treatment however I din't feel all right when I saw a notorious criminal who had done a heinious act, had no sense of regret nor guilt of what he did and has been provided with all facilities to live a peaceful life. I Stood still for a momenet and what went in mind in a fraction of second was the thought that ever since the missing complaint of the murdered wife filed by her first daughter, it took more than a decade, after beating around the bush, for the highest Court of the land to pronounce Judgment awarding life imprisonment to the former Godman. I thought of the pain both mentally (bearing the pain of losing someone dear to your heart) and physically(besides your personal schedule, attending to the court proceedings as and when necessary or else one might end of facing the severe legal consequences) the family of the victim had to incur to struggle through the legal battle to get the final verdict. I thought of the nightmare of the brutal murder which would have haunted (and possibly continue to haunt in the future )all through the years when they were fighting the case. I thought of the time and effort spent and put by the lawyers day and night to bring justice to the family of the victim. I thought about the hell lot of money the family in turn had to pay for the lawyers as a fee for it. In country like India, very influential person like Godman would have easilty got away with any number murders by flautning political connections if the victim was an ordinary women. Because victim belonged to a elite calibre, atleat after a decade, the Supre Court gave the final verdict but for whatever reasons, the highest court of land by giving a new interpretation for life imprisonment, it held that the Godman be put in jail until his death only to hear from the Godman himself that he is living in peace. Wow. We the common citizens are the one who live under the delusion that the justice is being done.

Under Trials

They are who are alleged to have done petty offences and aprrended by the police and put under judicail custody which is technically nothing but lingering in jails untill their cases appear before the Court for hearing beofore they are finally decided. If, say, the offences charged against them are proved before the Court of law, the punishment of imprisonment period would not be as long as the period during which they were kept in the jail in the name of Judicial Custody. This is because due to not having proper recourse to good lawyers because they can’t afford having one. When I asked a Jail official who was with us as to why not provide state legal services to these people, his response to me was that such legal services were only paper laws and were very ineffective in praxis. What could be worse is think of a situation where if any of the under-trials is taken to Court and pronounced non-guilty. Nothing could be more ridiculous, because he had already served imprisonment in jail and hence punished for which he would have had to incur only if he had actually committed the crime!

Women Prisoner

We met a woman who was convicted for alleged murder. She was in a room backing some bread. We were given a few breads to have. It was very tasty. She said she has been serving the sentence for 4 years since she was put in jain and would have to spend for another 7 years or more odd years. Her side version of the case was that she never murdered anyone. She was, basically, indebted to the person whom she had been accused of allegedly having murdered. The murdered, she said, kept harassing her sexually. Once, when she went to return the due money, he had tried to molest her and when she tried to protect her body by forcing his away from her, the victim fell ramming against a rock and died. There was no evidence to prove that she used any kind of weapon which proves she had no intention to murder but despite that she was convicted of murder. This reflects the poor quality of lawyer who represented her and she could not have afforded a better one since she belonged to a labour class family. As we left the kitchen, real life incidents like these imposing so many responsibilites upon me and I thanked Vikram for it and before even I finished thanking him, Professor said to us, ‘It is by helping people like them you can see the real pleasure out of education you get in University”. I can still hear the words and it was not the only best thing he ever said. Professor like Tagore and classes and field trips with him are a few good examples to make me feel ‘I miss law school’.

Atociticies against Minorities

This case is a very ubiquitous one. This is about person ‘X’ who comes from a low caste (schedule caste) who basically was asked to vacate his home by a dominate-Hindu caste person since the latter needed the land on which the former had built his house. But the ‘X’ refused to leave since for anyone his or her home is everything , it is something one attaches to himself emotionally spiritually and culturally. But the Dominanat caste person needed the land badly for whatever reason (possibly there could be an economic angle to it) so he had set fire to the house of the low caste man and filed complaint on the very same low caste man for such an act. The police framed a charge against the low caste man acting in consortium with the dominant cast people. Guess what! The low caste man is in jail facing the charge that he set his own house on fire and of felony and he is doing is labor work in the jail so that he can earn and send the money to his children who are going to school whereas the real culprits have gone scot free. This is a one such hard reality of the present scenario of the downtrodden even more than six decades after we got Independence.

Old women prisoners

For a second, I mistook the cell for a parental home. None would believe that these old, feeble, humans would even have the capacity to think criminally. When we interacted with them, the offenses for which these old people, most of them were octogenarian, being tried were, nevertheless, shocking, . Everyone surrounded our professor and started crying unaware about the purpose for which we were there, yet, our Professor did his best by genuinely listening to as many of theirs' problems as he could while we all stood by and watched and it was such a moving scene to watch when our professor had to leave after spending a reasonable period of time, the old women prisoners wanted our professor to stay for more time to listen to them and all of them wept in chorus so loud that it looked like a funeral event.

But honestly I thought it is better for these old women to be here in prison since they anyway get regular food to eat and place to reside than to go out and to try to live with the one who don’t love them anymore! I have seen worst where people just abandon their parents on the street. I once encountered an old lady near majestic circle, Bangalore with severe bruises all over hands and head and she was completely at a loss. She din't even know where she was heading to and had no strength to even utter a word properly. I, at first, called up vikram who gave me a women helpline contact number, then I, as per their advice, took her to a nearby police station and handed her over to them. I have read in books that old aged people even get murdered if they are considered burdensome by younger generation of her own. So relatively the women in the prison were, I thought, having a reasonably comforatable life. But like they what you see is not real, so I understood why they were all crying. It’s a prison with police watching them and they are tagged as a crimianls and are afraid of being punished anytime and above all they are too old don’t have anybody to take care of them, genuinely! I haven't looked into each and every of the case, so I know it is wrong for me to take side and say just because they are old they cannot be the culprits, at the same time I cannot rule out the possibility of them becoming the victim out of the today's socio-cultural and economic condition of a family. All I could hear from their cry is that 'we know we will not be accepted by our family but least take us away from this hell, the prison. we all walked away helplessly and I felt so pathetic, thinking of it even now.

Finally we had a formal group discussion in a conference hall with higher officials before we finished with our trip. A few amongst us who came for the trip felt deceived since they were eagerly looking for a good lunch at a star hotel after the trip which was the tradition during every previous field trips. It was quite funny to see those dejected faces.This feild trip was more of an educational visit and I thoroughly enjoyed the trip and it was an once in a life time opprutunity and I felt so thankful to two persons - one was, the professor for arrranging this trip and and the other was Vikram for asking me to join them. And as usual I always enjoyed the ride-back-home feeling on the way back. there is something special in the journey back after any visit. take a lonely seat, put your head phones on, listen to your favourte music, close your eyes, and you hear at the background, the sound of the air when the high-speed bus zooming through it while you let the pictures of the trip replay in your mind and you wake up only to know you are at gate no: 3.

"Its my First"

Leader

Mistakes we commit teach us to learn. I call them "leaders" since they lead us to perfection and excellence by making us realize what mistakes are and by trying not to repeat them, we near the right approach. Mistakes - hence I named them humans' leaders! Mistakes have crucial role during when we do anything for the first time. But as I aforementioned its role is invaluable during such time. Lets see, for instance, how they function in every stage of the life of an average human. A baby, before it able to crawl and learns to walk , he or she has to commit innumerable mistakes and finally when she does walk, the happiness he or she gets and shares it along with his or her parents is immeasurable. Moving on to a little later stage of childhood, the Kid would usually love to learn to ride a bicycle. Peddling a bicycle which runs on no fuel but with complete control by human and the energy produced from its own body alone; one would just love to do that. But its his or her first time agian! He or she has to take a shot. There will be a lot of mistakes and in the process one has to be prepared to even getting hurt. But its worth a risk. once you know how to ride a bicycle, sure will you have loads of fun and also makes riding a bike easier and that way its so helpful because, later when he or she grows a little older, bicycle would not, ususlallly, interest him or her anymore. If it is he, he would get a bike but he would certainly expect more, may be some one to fill the back seat:); if it is she, then I don't think I need to explain what would she long for!!. Here again it is his or her first time but its not like the bicycle thing to keep making mistakes with the same him or her. Its a very delicate issue . But Mistakes are still allowed here but in a different fashion and can be excused too and if they go off the limit, well, they still can be helpful and can lead you but to a different him or her!!. but who cares the world is moving too fast and there is no time to even sit and take a deep breath. The same applies to anything else like stage fear, especially when you go for the first time to strum your guitar on the stage. You might have practiced a million times in the room and got appreciated by all your friends but you go there on the stage and would screw everything up because your fingers'd refused to co-operate out of nervousness and you'd no control over yourself since it was the first time and our leader was leading you then, nevertheless, perfection was yet to be attained! :) so my best suggestion for you would have been is that you should just relax and should feel proud about yourself that you at least had the guts to go and give a shot. the rest will be taken care of by the mistakes naturally. one day you may go onto the same stage and steal the show and may even belt out a superb song too if u had made a few mistakes previously!!

Why

So why I am writing all this. Mistakes, leaders, and the title says " Its my First" .How on earth this all connected? well I do have a strong reason. I have been thinking for the last 5 years to start writing a blog but I could not come up with anything simply because i was afraid. I was simply afraid that I was not a good writer and even if I do I might write one with loads of mistakes. But If I look back and see what all , in the last 25 years of life, I have done which I hesitated at first simply because I did not know how I would do, Mistakes did help whether it was during when. for the first time, I rode my bicycle, , or went spoke to the most beautiful looking girl I ever seen (Later, I met and become "The" best friend of her in school)only because I went in and talked to her and in the process I made a few mistakes which actually helped me to learn how I should overcome them and learn the right manner to make her my friend. The mistakes helped me learning my guitar. I even thought once those who could hold "C" chord are God since it was just immmmmmpossible for me to hold it in right position. Three years down the line , the leader "Mistakes" gave me all the confidence to look at myself in the mirror and say 'wow' for I could able to pull some sexy riffs and play amazing finger picking with the same guitar!.I do even make constructive criticism at those play guitar at big concert in the name of music.

Cuz

After three years of contemplating, I have come up with this decision to make mistakes in the world of blog:) so that my leader i.e. "Mistakes" would lead me to the stage of perfection one day and would continue me to tread on that journey and I shall not wait until the day arrives but will strive for that day to come by keep making mistakes or in other words keep writing blogs:)
so Hello world! Here it is:
"Its my First" Blog !